Friday, November 21, 2003

I return, only to go away again

Hey, sorry there were no updates for a few days. It's been busy around here. Well, kind of, but not really.

The day before yesterday, it was rainy for, like, the hundred billionth day in a row, and the dog was getting so restless that I thought she was going out of her mind, taking me with her. So I took her for half-day doggy day-care at the dog spa. Shut up. It's a legitimate thing. Basically, she got to run around a huge room with other dogs for an six hours. It's the equivalent of dropping your kids off in the ball room at IKEA.

While she rolled around at the dog spa, comingling fur and drool, I decided to do something to "pamper" myself. Everyone's been telling me to do this. "Go pamper yourself, you're on vacation." So I decided to go an get a facial. My face was all tired and dry-looking, but also oily--apparently I have "combination skin," according to the aesthetician, a very nice Korean lady who didn't speak any English outside of facial-speak. So I got the facial, and I kind of liked it, but not as much as the first one I got. The reason I didn't like it as much is because they did this "deep cleaning European treatment" which kind of hurt. And don't be fooled by the fancy words, because when people giving you facials want to do deep cleaning, what it really means is that they want to squeeze your zits. They squeezed out all my subterranean zits, people. Some of them I didn't even know were there. And that would have been fine with me, I can live with invisible zits. So now I have all these little red dots on my face from the squeezing. Call me crazy, but doesn't that look worse than before the cleansing? Now I understand why I was advised not to get a facial right before my wedding.

Yesterday, Joe's sister came to visit from out of town with her four year-old daughter. My mom asked me the other day, "when is your niece coming into town?" and I was all confused, like, girlfriend, I don't got no niece. But I guess I do now. Joe's niece is my niece. Anyway, we had a good time, and did all manner of kid-entertainment sightseeing,which is a nice change from adult-oriented sightseeing. No boring Empire State Building or Circle Line Tours. Yes to FAO Schwarz and dinosaur exhibit at the Museum of Natural History! Also fun is the fact that kids have to eat constantly. Even though we had a 1pm lunch at Ruby Foo's, we still had to stop by McDonalds for some grub before they hopped on their bus back to Baltimore. The McDonalds we went to in Times Square (my second most hated of squares, behind Herald Square) was all glitzy and neon-signed, not unlike Vegas. The four-year old was suitably impressed. (Until she slipped off the barstool and hit her chin. Then she was mad.)

We also went to this place on Fifth Avenue that I didn't know existed, called American Girl Place. This is a store that sells scary baby dolls that you can custom make to look like you. Also, you can buy scary clothes for your scary baby doll, and buy matching clothes to wear yourself, so that you and your doll are twins. And don't forget to buy the accessories and baby basket and tea set and matching bedroom set for your baby doll! Or else maybe your doll won't like you anymore and will run away. You're a bad parent for not getting the Bitty Twins their winter fun collection! Seriously, these dolls live better than I do. And they're frigging creepy! They look like dolls that might, secretly, be plotting to kill you while you sleep. But Karli (the kid) loved them. I mean manically, insanely loved them. I got her the tea set for Christmas while she wasn't looking.

One sort of interesting feature they had in the store was the cafe, where you could bring your doll (and your rich parents) to have lunch. They have little high chairs and tiny china setting for the doll and everything. And fancy pants lunch with doll-sized portions. It's a cute idea for kids (they even have "loaner" dolls for kids who forgot to bring their own, as Karli did) but I am still embittered towards them because we only ordered coffee and were still charged a $9.00 "sitting fee" per person to sit in their precious cafe. For the money, we might as well has ordered the lunch! (You will notice that the lunch is prix fixe only, no ordering a la carte at all. That's how they get you.) They should have warned us, is all I'm saying. No one else in the place seemed to mind, however. Almost without exception, the parents and kids in the store were straight out of MTV's "Rich Girls." Tiny little Upper East Side girls, immaculately dressed, with shiny Prada-clad mothers. I saw two kids, aged four and six, getting on the escalator in matching Burburry pants. Believe the hype of "Rich Girls," people. It is 100% true. Which is why that show is awesome.

Gotta get some errands done now, as I'm leaving for Cancun early tomorrow morning. But check back later this afternoon for (by reader request) discussion on our favorite other tween series, "The Babysitters Club." Or, as I like to call it, "The BSC." I'm down with BSC, yeah you know me.

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