the underwear drawer

full moon

It was like Degrassi Junior High in the ER last night, what with all the teens that we had pourng in the doors. That is, if Degrassi Junior High was set in a psychiatric institution. Behold, the patients that all came in within two hours of each other.

1.) Tylenol Girl. Suicide attempt by Tylenol and alcohol ingestion. Was in a wonderful mood when she came in, was hugging all of the police officers and kissing the nurses. Learned to love the taste of activated charcoal.

2.) Pseudoseizure Lass. Total body shaking at home, apparently postictal and borderline comatose upon arrival, staring blankly ahead and not responding to her name. I was getting worried, but then the second I walked away, she started laughing at her boyfriend's jokes and screaming at the nurse for putting in an IV and taking away her shoes.

3.) Anxiety Attack Chick. Hyperventilating because she was freaking that her roommate was making a lesbian pass at her.

4.) Drug-Seeking Lad. Chronic back pain seeking narcotics. After giving 4mg of Demerol, we switched to Toradol and he was very upset with us.

5.) Psychosis Dude. Just stepped off a bus from L.A., now at our hospital because he wants "a second opinion." On what? I ask. "The doctors in L.A. told me I have schizophrenia, but I don't think that I do." Obligingly, I called the poor, overworked Psych consult and he gave his second opinion, which was that the patient had bipolar disorder with psychotic features. So I guess the patient was right after all.

Thankfully, except for these pateints, the rest of the ER cleared out by about 3am. We wondered if the influx of crazy teens was because of the full moon. Well, it wasn't really a full moon last night. But that would be a good story, wouldn't it?

Currently reading: "The New Yorker." Just finished "The Da Vinci Code" yesterday, which was quite a good read in the end. I would classify it as an excellent poolside book, because it's exciting, a brisk read, and is even a little bit educational. They must be making a movie of this book, it's so script-ready. Who would star? My first guess would be Harrison Ford as Langdon, but maybe that's too easy.