the underwear drawer

goodbye, green couch

We returned home from work to find the dog wagging her tail in a big pile of synthetic stuffing and foam. Underneath the foam were the ragged remains of our living room couch. Around the dog were about four or five dog toys, completely untouched. I guess the couch was just a superior plaything. Does it make sense that the first thing I thought was to get a second dog to entertain and occupy the first? Or would they just band together to destroy our home at an exponentially faster rate?

Joe, being the alpha dog, was in charge of the discipline, which mainly consisted of giving Cooper the alpha dog staredown and saying "No!" rather loudly several times while holding her nose to the (destroyed) couch cushions. I know they say that dogs don't know what you're punishing them for unless you punish them at the moment the crime is committed, but I think she understood. The second you held up the fuzz and looked her in the eye, she got all evasive, looking away and sagging her ears and tails down in that unmistakable BAD DOG look, even before the "No!"-ing began.

The problem with dogs is that they do these incredibly cute things that make it impossible for you to stay mad at them. Coop did the thing where she rolled onto her back, paws in the air, exposing her tender underbelly--the ultimate submissive positioning. Goddamn you, Coop, I am trying to maintain an air of righteous anger!

(And thus ends my annoying dog owner story. Just be glad I don't have ten cats or something. "The cutest thing...Muffins was playing with a catnip toy when Snickers ran right into him and toppled him right over! And then I took a picture and mailed it into 'Cat Fancy' magazine!" )

OK, so I was trapped in a cafe in the rain earlier this afternoon (not as romantic as it sounds), and given that I had nothing else to do, I started reading "The Da Vinci Code." I did take off the dust cover, though. I don't know what that says about me, that I care whether or not people know that I'm reading a big fat commercial bestseller. Regardless, I'm only a little ways into it, but I can see why people get so excited about this book. It has a very quick-paced, forward-moving plot so far, even if I am a little turned off by the description of the main character. "His usually sharp blue eyes looked hazy and drawn tonight. A dark stubble was shrouding his strong jaw and dimpled chin. Around his temples, the gray highlights were advancing, making heir way deeper into the thicket of coarse black hair. Although his female colleagues insisted the gray only accentuated his bookish appeal, Langdon knew better." What the hell is this, a Harelquin romance? Well, whatever. I'm already into it, so I'll choose to overlook the Fabio overtones.

Currently reading: Uh, "The Da Vinci Code." Dur. But I also just finished "When I Am Old: And Other Stories." It wasn't a very long book, so I finished it on the subway on the way to work.