Joe and I were watching our new "Elf" DVD this afternoon. If you didn't see "Elf," you must, and if you saw it but didn't like it, I'm sorry, but you're a Commie. Because I loves me some "Elf."
So we were down to the end of the movie, at the part where Santa is trying to escape the Central Park Rangers in his sleigh, only his sleigh won't fly because the engine fell off and the Claus-o-meter is only reading at 60% because not enough people have Christmas spirit. (And yes, I'm aware that I'm not make the best case for seeing the movie in that last sentence, but just trust me on this, OK?) But then Zooey Deschanel leads everyone in siging Christmas carols, and James Caan gets the Christmas spirit and startings singing, with Mary Steembergen and That Kid giving him a big hug of Christmas redemption--and at that moment, Santa's sleigh takes off, soaring over the crowds! And everyone cheers! And we're all happy because Buddy the Elf saved Christmas! Hooray, Buddy!
I am embarassed to tell you that I got a little tear in my eye at this point. I don't know why, because it's not exactly the most sentimental movie, and in any event, I'd already seen the movie once before, so I knew what was coming up. But it's like that scene in "An American Tail" when Feivel gets reunited with his dad, and they're rolling around in that puddle of water. It's just sweet and nice and you get a little misty even though they're just cartoon mice. But I was embarassed, because I don't really cry at movies, and now look at me, I was crying at "Elf," for chrissake. So I played it off and pretended like I was scratching my eye. Scratching my eye with the sleeve of my t-shirt. I thought I had covered my tracks pretty well, getting rid of all evidence of "Elf"-incited tears, when suddenly:
JOE
I'm not crying because of the movie.
MICHELLE
You're not...what?
JOE
(Sniff)
I just want you to know, I'm not crying because of "Elf."
MICHELLE
You...you are! You're crying because of "Elf!" Because Buddy saved Christmas!
JOE
No!
MICHELLE
You love Buddy!
JOE
Shut up!
(Wiping face surreptitiously)
MICHELLE
Well, I was trying to keep this on the down-low, but now I can come clean. I was crying too.
JOE
Really?
MICHELLE
Yeah. I cried when the sleigh took off. I just didn't want you to mock me, so I pretened I wasn't crying. I pretended I was itchy.
JOE
Man. I can't believe we cried watching "Elf."
MICHELLE
Seriously. But at least it's Christmassy. If we cry watching "Anchorman" next, we'll know we're in trouble.
Merry Christmas, everyone. Hopefully everyone will still be celebrating tomorrow, and my 12-hour shift in the ER will be a quiet one.
Currently reading: "Fair Weather." Because once I get started, I have to go through my whole Joe Matt collection.
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