Monday, May 30, 2005

and now you know...the rest of the story

Hey, David Sedaris is going to be making an appearance at the Barnes and Noble in Union Square this Wednesday! That's like, a fifteen minute walk from my apartment! I am so there. I only fear I will be trampled flat by the other rabid Sedaris fans. Not that I would really classify myself in the rabid category--for example, I think his latest book was kind of weak--but I do kind of have a crush on him. Even though he likes the boys and will therefore never return my love.

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So we finally saw the new Star Wars movie on Friday night. Yes, it was better than the first two, but obviously that's not saying a whole lot. A little draggy for the first 45 minutes or so, but then it got pretty exciting. Some thoughts--and though I refuse to believe that there exists a subset of the population who has not yet seen the movie and eschewed all media coverage in order to avoid learning some major plot points (Guess what? ANAKIN SKYWALKER BECOMES DARTH VADAR!)--I guess you shouldn't read this next part if you have been trapped in a well for the past three months but have since escaped and plan to rush to your local multiplex tonight, Wookie costume in tow:

  • So Anakin goes to the Dark Side so that he can learn how to save his wife from dying, right? But then she dies in the end anyway. So why didn't he just kill Palpatine then, instead of just screaming "Noooooo!" in a James Earl Jones voice and then just figuring, "Oh, what the hell, I just alienated and/or killed everyone I know, I guess I'll just stay evil." Well, here's what I really think: he should have made Palpatine teach him how to cheat death and everything BEFORE he promised to do everything that he said, like go on some rampage and kill all those "younglings" and such. And maybe he should have made Palpatine teach him how to do that electricity-shooting-out-of-his-hands thing too, because that's some powerful shit right there.

  • How come everyone keeps getting all their arms and legs chopped off? I guess that's the danger of light-saber swordplay, but seriously, it's like George Lucas has some sort of amputation fetish or something.

  • How come no one in the Senate noticed that Palpatine suddenly changed all wrinkly and haggard and yellow-eyed overnight? I mean, clearly the man is EVIL. Even his room was evil, it was all filled with these ominous black sculptures and things. So clearly the Senators are idiots for voting him in, because JUST LOOK AT THE GUY.

  • Amazing, wasn't it, how Padme barely looked pregnant, yet in the end managed to deliver a set of what appeared to be four month-old twins. She must have some extra trunk space up in there that we don't know about.

  • OK, so in the end, they had to hide Luke and Leia, right, so the agents of the Dark Side wouldn't find them. Giving Leia over to Jimmy Smits was a reasonable option, but giving Luke over to Anakin's relatives? On his home planet? And keeping his name "Skywalker"? Is that really such a good "hiding" place? Plus, it seems that people in this movie are lousy at keeping secrets--Padme and Anakin's marriage was supposed to be all hush-hush on the D-L, but hello, they're practically making out in front of EVERYONE, and when Anakin goes missing, Obi-Wan goes straight to Padme's apartment to ask her where he is.

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Pulling a 12-hour shift in the ER today, noon to midnight. Beautiful weather out, three day weekend, looks like another great day for Kids Falling Off Things: The Greatest Hits.

Currently reading: Nothing at the moment, I still have to figure out my next move.

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