Wednesday, June 01, 2005

famous talking head

So I went to the David Sedaris reading/book signing thing this evening, and of course, the place was packed. So packed that I couldn't really see the guy at all. There were speakers, of course, and I think he was being videotaped and simulcast down to a TV setup in the cafe, but that was a whole floor below where the actual reading was taking place. So the whole experience basically amounted to going to a bookstore to listen to the playing of a book on tape. It was still fun though, because I tend to enjoy his books on tape more than I enjoy the books themselves (something about how he does the voices makes it a lot more funny), and at the end he took some questions from the audience, which ranged from interesting to insipid.

Near the end, jockeying for a good spot, I did manage to get a tiny peek of him--or of someone I could only assume was him, since he was the only head I could see that was facing the towards the audience, and it did look like he was seated at a desk or something, up on stage. But it was still hard to say, because I was so far away I couldn't tell if his lips were moving or not. So far as I know, it could have been some security guy. Regardless, the tiny bobbing head I saw was a good approximation of David Sedaris--white, with a short haircut, wearing a dusty blue shirt and a yellow tie--so I'll just say it was him and feel good about myself for the rest of the night. Despite my fan-dom, however, I didn't stay around to actually get my book signed, because it was just too much of a mob scene. "For those of you with orange wristbands," boomed an overhead announcement after the Q&A ended, "please line up by the far wall, we will be moving you to the stage area by row. For those of you without orange wristbands," (and you could tell from her tone that in the caste system of the book signing, we were the lowest of the low--NO WRISTBANDS, for chrissake), please proceed to the information desk and await further instruction." What the hell was this, Lollapalooza? I don't have time for this! Can't you see, I am very important and busy! So I just took my sighting of the famous talking head and left the building.

Joe was late getting out from work, but met me at the door of the bookstore right as the signing was ending. Walking home along Park Avenue South, we saw some chick get out of a cab with her date and lose what I assumed was a dollar bill from her hand to the wind. She shrugged and made no motion to go for it, even though the wind had died down by then and the bill was already spinning it's way back down to earth. "What, you're just going to let that go?" Her date asked, surprised. "That's a ten dollar bill!" She just shrugged again and just started walking away, with the obedient man-boy trailing close behind. Joe caught the bill as it returned to earth literally seconds later--sure enough, it was a ten dollar bill. We looked down the street at the couple--they hadn't even looked back.

"Who just walks away after dropping ten dollars?" I asked.

"Dude, just keep it!" Shouted a passerby. "Clearly, they don't want it." The couple were now just specks on the horizon. After a moment of hesitation, Joe shrugged and pocketed the money. I was pleased with our surprise mini-fortune, but still aghast that people could just drop good money like that and not seem to care.

Man, it's not like it blew across the street or into the sewer or anything. If they had just waited five more seconds, they could have picked it up. I can't believe they wouldn't chase after a ten dollar bill. Damn, I would chase after a one dollar bill.

Hey, if they don't care, I don't care about keeping it. And you can have one dollar of it.

What, is that my cut? 10% as my agent fee?

Yeah. Your Asian fee.


Currently reading: "I Never Liked You." Chester Brown was kind of an acquired taste for me, but now I dig his stuff.

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