the underwear drawer

separation anxiety

Looks like my first physical separation from Cal (not counting those times in the hospital that they carted him off to get heel-stuck and then forgot to bring him back for three hours, despite multiple nursing call bell rings) may be sooner than I anticipated. I just got an e-mail from my program about a mandatory Grand Rounds that I need to attend on Thursday morning, 6:30am. The idea of waking up early no longer give me any problems (in newborn world, there is no more "early" or "late"--the time is just something to be noted and ignored) but the idea of being out of the house for at least three hours does. Especially since Cal has been having a little trouble as of late with his latching technique, and I'm not thrilled with the idea of having to give him up to two bottles before the boobs are back in the house.

I'm no hippy-trippy flowing caftans earth mother-type, but I have to say, breastfeeding is really kind of cool. Well, there are some not-so-cool things about it that I'll put out there first. One is that it can be occasionally uncomfortable, be that due to faulty latch or engorgement or skin irritation or what have you. Second is that you're kind of on the clock, in that the second your baby stops feeding, you have one good hour, maybe two or three, before he needs to feed again, so that definitely limits what you, the Primary Food Provider (PFP) can do with your time. Third is that waking up at 3am drenched in a puddle of your own milk is kind of gross. But other than that, breastfeeding is awesome. Seriously, how cool is it to manufacture 100% of the substrate to sustain another human being with your own body? Who would have thought it was possible? Yay for mammals!

Also:

• It is a nice way to snuggle with the baby.
• You feel good that at least for now, the La Leche League torch carriers aren't going to beat down your door and accuse you of perpetrating CHILD ABUSE in the form of formula feeding. (Don't put down your torches yet, though, folks. It still could happen.)
• Not to be shallow, but what a great way to lose weight. I'm already back in my pre-maternity clothes, and I'm almost certain that it's because of breastfeeding, because hello, exercise? I think not.
  

So anyway, conference on Thursday. It should be over by 8:00am, so I'll be back in the house by 9:00am, but still, that feels like a long time. I hope Cal doesn't forget me.

Currently reading: "The Da Vinci Code," though I suspect I may soon have to get my anesthesia books back out and resume studying.