the underwear drawer

the doctor is out

Cal is developing a personality that I can only describe as "impish." How else could you classify the expression in this photo?




(And no, "Half-Man Half-Mouse Plotting World Domination" is not a facial expression. Also, see how Joe dressed him that day, like he's going to go out and hunt some deer, with the camo and orange and all?)

I was on call overnight last night, but I barely even noticed, so great was my excitement that MY VACATION STARTS THIS WEEKEND. Yes, that's right, I have a week of vacation, my first stretch of time off since Cal was born. (Joe and I have some vacation time together later this Spring, hence the talk of travel plans, but this week off is just me and The Boy.) I hardly know what to do with myself.

Before Cal, a week off from work with no travel plans would probably be configured something like this:

• Sleep in
  
• Go to the movies and catch up on the current releases
  
• Have a stack of good books on hand to read while I have lunch out every day
• Sleep in

But see, life is different now. Who knows what kind of sleep schedule Cal would have had if left unperturbed, but unfortunately, our day-in-day-out routine of leaving for work well before dawn has warped him. He now routinely wakes up at 5:00am, even after I explained to him that he doesn't have to wake up early on Sunday. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, CAL, IT'S SUNDAY, THE DAY OF REST, SO SAYS GOD HIMSELF. I know that sleeping in isn't such a big deal for someone who can fall asleep anytime, anywhere, even one time while sitting up, but believe me, when you grow up and get a job, you will understand the sweet, sweet siren song of the bed. So yes, anyway, we have ruined our child, he is now a grody morning person who will probably grow up to go jogging at the crack of dawn in SPANDEX and be intolerably chipper while doing it. So no sleeping in, now or ever.

I suppose I could still go to the movies and whatnot (there are such things as babysitters, after all, didn't you read "The Babysitters Club"?), but the thing is, when you spend all your time at work away from your kid, the last thing you want to do when you're on vacation is spend more time away from your kid. I mean, not like I need him to be welded to my side or anything like that, but I do want to see what he looks like in natural light and everything. There is this thing at my local multiplex called "Reel Moms," where they have this one morning a week that you can bring your baby to the movies. They keep the sound lower and keep the lights up and you can, like, breastfeed while watching "Nanny McPhee" or some such thing. But I don't think that the "Reel Moms" promotion applies to every theatrical release, and improbably to any movies I actually want to see, due to Adult Content. For instance, even though I want Cal to grow up all open-minded and free and whatnot, I don't necessarily want his first movie experience to be one in which the protagonists get it up the butt. Maybe in a year or two, we can start off with some nice Disney or Pixar fare (oh wait, those two are the same now, aren't they?) before moving on to the butt-fucking films.

This will be an interesting week though, one that I'm looking at as kind of an experiment, if a contrived one. What is it like to live the life of a Stay At Home Mom? This is what I aim to find out. I know it's just for a week, and it doesn't really approximate the real thing since I know the situation is temporary and that I have a job to return to at the end of it all, but it's as close to being a Stay At Home Mom as I'm going to get, now or probably ever. I have to admit, I am biased, because I'm hoping the outcome of this experiment will be that while enjoying my time with Cal, I'll be (as at the end of my maternity leave) a little bit bored and idle and itching to get back to work. Because after all, if I LOVE staying at home and LOVE being with Cal all day and wish OH LORD HOW I WISH that I could do this all the time, every day, forever and ever, years of training and salary and obligations be damned...then I will have something of a major life crisis on my hands.

Currently reading: "In Touch Weekly." Oh come on, it's only $1.99! At your newsstands now! Did you hear that Britney Spears might be pregnant again? I did! Because I read "In Touch Weekly"! Also, now hear this: Paris Hilton is a party animal! Such valuable things I am learning.