Friday, September 14, 2007

Medical Specialty Stereotype #11: Radiation Oncology

(See also: PM&R)

On a completely unrelated note: to all you women out there who do not sit on public toilet seats, don't you know that it is YOU who are making the seats unsittable? You think, "Oh, I cannot possibly let my delicate ass skin touch this horrible, contaminated toilet seat that other asses have touched!" And so you hover, and in doing so, spray the entire toilet seat with pee. And then you do not wipe up the pee, the pee that has issued forth from your own urethra, and then when I have to use the bathroom, in a rush during my too-short break from the OR, guess who has to do the dirty work? If you would just sit on the toilet seat like Thomas Crapper intended, then we would all be able to share in the goodness.

And for the last time, you will not contract "diseases" from sitting on a public toilet seat. Dr. Oz, famed Oprah proxy and noted cardiothoracic surgeon at [University Hospital] says so, therefore it must be true. So just sit down, for chrissake.