the end is near...but not in that way
A couple of people in the comments section asked me in the last entry about my May 1st word count deadline, and whether or not I have met my goal yet. And the answer is...no. I actually had done some writing this past month, though failing to update the sidebar as I did...but I have not cracked 70,000 words yet nonetheless. But before anyone starts freaking out that I have NOT MET MY CONTRACTED DEADLINE, let me tell you this: my real deadline is July 1st. The May 1st deadline is a decoy deadline that I set for myself to give myself a margin of error, just so I wouldn't stray too close to the actual deadline without being reasonably close or at the point of completion. And I guess I'm living in that margin now. I think there's a reasonable chance I will be done with the writing portion of things this week, with enough time for polish and finishing the illustrations by July 1st.
I realize that this whole "fake deadline" thing is some kind of neurosis on my part, and that perhaps it was slightly unrealistic to think that I would be done with the whole thing two whole months before it was actually due to my editor. But this is the same neurosis that leads me to arrive at the airport four hours before my flight. Because that way, even if I forgot my passport and have to return home to get it, and then the cab breaks down on the highway on the way back to the airport from home, followed by a hold-up in security for a full stripped down body-cavity search because someone has maliciously impregnanted my luggage with explosives while my back was turned briefly at the check-in e-ticket kiosk...I'll still hopefully be able to make it on the plane.
Anyone else find themselves catastrophizing as an adaptive strategy? Hoping for the best but preparing for the worst just seems to make the normal course of events seem miraculous.
In addition: I am also doing micro updates on Twitter now. What is Twitter? Are mini updates stupid? I have no idea, I just joined yesterday. But I am willing to try things. I am only quasi-old. Like remember when I joined Facebook? That was interesting. Though I rapidly became terrified of it and people started inviting me to join The Zombies Club and El Vampiro League and all sorts of crazy things and then I was just getting freaked out by getting updates every time someone was going to the bathroom. But anyway, Twitter. Subscribe if you like, maybe it will be fun. Or not.