Wednesday, March 25, 2009

less of a style statement than a stupidity statement

I've been getting a lot of compliments at work lately about my watch, which is newish--I got it about two months ago, right around the end of my maternity leave. But whenever someone gives me a compliment--and not just about this watch, about anything, ever--I give them too much information. So first, I have to tell people, DUDE, TOTAL STEAL, IT WAS ONLY NINE DOLLARS!!!, both to convey (perhaps out of embarrassment in being complimented) that it was a bargain and therefore OK; that I am not the kind of person who spends a lot of money on accessories, even of the functional variety; and that despite the fact that I am 30 years old, I still shop at Forever 21, home of the one-time-wear disposable outfit.

OK, so there's that. And then the next thing I feel that I must tell people about this watch is that I got it to replace my old watch, which was a similarly cheap watch (a $9.99 digital watch that I got out of a spinning plastic case at Walgreens), not because my old watch broke, but because I couldn't figure out what configurations of buttons to push to set it back one hour for Daylight Savings Time (in the FALL, which was, like, FOUR MONTHS AGO) and I got so sick of subtracting one hour every time I looked at my watch that I just decided to go old school and get an analog watch. An old fashioned watch with an old fashioned dial that you could twist to set the clock back one hour. Only now we just changed for Daylight Saving's again, and now my original digital watch would have gone back to being correct, only in my attempts to set the time back one hour, I somehow irrevocably screwed it up, and now it thinks it's, like, twenty-seven o'clock in the morning. So I cannot be trusted around digital watches. But now watch me take care of patients undergoing open-heart surgery!

This is what I mean by too much information.