school daze

Sarah asked me in the interview that ran yesterday about the three words I would use to describe my two kids.  I wish I had found this picture before I answered that question, because all you need to know about their personalities is laid bare by their expressions in this photo:

(Look, I'm going to talk about preschool stuff right now, even though I know this is one of the topics that inexplicably makes people irrationally angry, but hey.  I'm reckless like that.)

Mack's starting nursery school in June.  He's ready.  Frankly, he was ready months ago, but nursery school is expensive, and we needed Cal to be a little closer to finishing up his stint at private school (he'll be starting first grade at our local public school next year) before we started sending Thing Two into the money-vacuum that is pre-primary education.

Before we moved to Atlanta, we probably toured five or six preschools for Cal, mostly because we had no idea which schools were good or where the schools were or even where we would be living.  Also, Cal was our first child, and we were coming from Manhattan, where there is this curious notion that picking that one, perfect preschool will either make or break your child's entire future forevermore amen.  We picked the school we thought was the best, and Cal's been there for the past three years, though, as I said before, he'll be switching schools in the fall to the local public school that, among its other benefits (FREE), is only about five minutes away from our new house.

Because see, that's the main thing that we learned about sending your kids to school.  Obviously there are good schools and some schools are worth the sacrifice and commute (I had friends in high school that commuted up to two and a half hours each way just to get there every morning--it made my 45 minute single subway train commute look like nothing) but preschools?  Let's face it, most preschools are pretty much the same.  So if you don't have to drive a million hours each way to drop your kid off there, all the better.  I toured two schools for Mack before we picked one, and both were right close by.  One was closer.  That's the one Mack will be attending in May.

This is not to say that it's not a good school.  This place?  Is ridiculous.  They have computer class and foreign language and dance and they have this crazy water playground in the back that's just--well.  Mack may never want to leave.  But the best part of it?  The very best part?  They provide breakfast and dinner and all snacks at the school for all the kids.  Meaning they make the food.  Should I say that again?  WE DO NOT NEED TO PACK ANY FOOD FOR MACK TO TAKE TO SCHOOL.  Do you know how many hundreds of hours of my life I have spent cutting up grapes and packing little cheese squares and making sandwiches for Cal to take to school?  Do you know how many hours I will save by not having to do that for Mack?  "All meals and snacks provided" may be the sweetest words in the English language.

So that's Mack's nursery school in a nutshell.  It's three minutes from our house.  There's a ton of stuff for him to do there.  And we will never, ever need to pack him a lunch box.  If there's anything else we need to know about this place, I can't think of it right now.

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More sightings of my book from around the country (and hopefully, soon, around the world):

Jamie from the VCU School of Medicine in Richmond, VA sent me this one.  She wrote, "I'm sure Hippocrates would give your book two thumbs up... if he had thumbs." Well played, doctor. Well played.

This one comes from Henry, my first Aussie reader (that I know of) to get his hands on a copy of the book.  Of course, he did have to fly into New York to buy it, but be that as it may, it's a proud day for Australo-American relations.  This shrimp's on the barbie for you, Henry.  (I SPEAK AUSTRALIAN, YES.)

This one's from Roxanna, who told me that she burned 2500 calories while reading my book on the elliptical.  2500 CALORIES.  Does this book give you super-powers?  Is it so utterly absorbing that while you're reading it, you can no longer feel pain?  Who can say, really, why not read it yourself and find out?  (Short answer: YES.)

Also, here is Roxanna's daughter, because she is adorable.  (Hopefully she's not reading the gross parts or any of the bad words.  Cal has read some of the book too, but mostly he just like the chapters that are about him. Egoiste!)

This cat right here in Corona, CA is so pissed that she can't read right now.  Pissed, and hungry.  Is my book a good present for cats?  Depends how many cats you have.  Each cat must have her own copy, though, or else they get jealous, and the resentments will tear your home apart.  (Thanks, Jenn!)

And this one, my favorite of the day, comes from Professor Miwa in Wellesley, MA, who has photographed my book with her Organic Chemistry students in the Wellesley College Science Center.  Oh, I learned so many important things in the Science Center.  And then I graduated and forgot all of it instantly.

Now, if I remember things approximately, probably at least 75% of this organic chemistry class are premeds or pre-medical professionals in one form or another.  Ladies, study well and work hard, and five or six years from now you too may be eating cold refried beans out of an emesis basin at 2:00am next to the hospital supply room!  REACH FOR THE STARS!  (And good luck on finals!  By the way, is it true that the answers to the Orgo 2 final exam are actually fiendishly encoded in the pages of the book like the damn DaVinci Code?  I can't confirm it...but I won't deny it either.)

Keep your photo submissions coming, either to my e-mail or on Facebook or Twitter.  And hopefully I will see some of you guys at the book events in the Northeast starting next week.  Did I mention that the reading at the Atlanta History Center will also have light refreshments and a cash bar?  A BAR IS THE THING WITH THE BOOZES ON IT.  Enough of that business and I'll hardly need to be funny and insightful at all!  Delightfully potted attendees--the pressure is off!