the underwear drawer

overheard on the bus

Scene: Three children on the crosstown bus, headed home from school. A boy and two girls, all around 6 or 7 years old.


BOY
(In the middle of a conversation in progress.)
And you know what? He shaved his head.

GIRL #1
Like, bald?

BOY
And you know what? He got a tattoo. On his head. Of a dragon.

GIRL #1
My cousin? She's older? And she has a tattoo right here.
(Points to her lower back, just above the butt crack.)

GIRL #2
(Giggling, imitating GIRL #1, pointing to her butt)
Hee hee!

BOY
My cousin has a tattoo. But he's old.

GIRL #2
How old?

BOY
I don't know, I think sixteen?

MICHELLE
(Snerk)

GIRL #1
When I get old, I want a tattoo right here.
(points to her right deltoid)

BOY
(Overlapping GIRL #1)
When I get old, I'm going to get a tattoo with a skull, and with flames, and with...um...snakes. I'm going to get a tattoo with a skull that's on fire. And there's snakes, three snakes, coming out of its mouth.

GIRL #2
(Dreamily)
I'm going to get a tattoo of a flower.

GIRL #1
(Gives GIRL #2 a withering look)

GIRL #2
(Correcting)
I mean, a tattoo of a butterfly. A butterfly.

GIRL #1
(Mollified for some reason)

GIRL #2
Also, I'm going to get my tongue pierced. And my belly button.

BOY #1
There's this guy? Who has his neck pierced. (Points with a lancing motion through his trachea) And when he drank? Water would come shooting out of his neck!

GIRLS
Ewwww!