I think Joe was jealous that I got to sleep with the dog last night. Not jealous of the dog, jealous of me, because we don't usually let the dog in bed with us and he's sad that he missed it. So last night, before bed, he didn't put up the dog gate in the living room and let the bedroom door open.
MICHELLE
Does this mean you want to sleep with the dog tonight?
JOE
(Casually)
Whatever you want.
JOE'S IMPLIED MEANING
Yes, I want to sleep with the dog tonight.
MICHELLE
I'm not sure we're all going to fit in the bed.
JOE
We'll fit.
MICHELLE
You know the only reason I was able to pull off letting her sleep with me last night is because there was one less body in the bed, and she was exhausted from playing all day.
JOE
I know.
MICHELLE
Where is she going to sleep? There's no room!
JOE
She'll sleep between my legs.
MICHELLE
I won't tell anyone you just said that.
At 1:30am, the dog, who had been awake since lights out and sniffing around the room, took a flying leap into the bed and landed right in the center of my stomach. Then she came up to the head of the bed, laying her butt on Joe's head, and proceeded to vomit on my pillow. Being asleep, I didn't know what had happened until I was awakened by the sound of her frantically lapping at the regurgitant to destroy the evidence.
The dog stays in the living room from now on.
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