Thursday, December 09, 2004

hibernation over

Hey all. Sorry for the brief absence, but I've been channeling all my meager energies into making it through my last week on the wards. It's pretty much all wrapped up, though, and I took my final call last night. The interns, very sweet as they are, gave me some feedback that they thought I had done a great job as ward senior, and that they hoped they would be as confident and knowledgable when their turns came next year to assume the helm. It's so funny to hear that, because I thought the exact same thing about my seniors early in intern year. With a good senior, I always felt that a.) they knew everything, b.) there was nothing they couldn't handle, and c.) they would swoop in and save me from harm or scary patient situations at the slightest provocation. Now, having been senior, I realize how much of that is just projection and the natural willingness of an intern to want to defer ultimate responsibility with someone who has a little more experience than they. So yes, I did have more experience than the interns, and therefore had more skill at pattern recognition, which is what a lot of medicine boils down to. But I cannot tell you how many nights I've been on call, walking around the hospital, thinking to myself, "I can't believe they let me be in charge around here."

So anyway, it was another night on call, and all my patients lived. The end. After clinic tomorrow, I have a weekend off, and our plan is to drive on down to Baltimore to pay a surprise visit to Joe's sister's brood while Joe's parents are also in town, visiting los ninos for the holidays. (I don't know how to make the little wiggle worm on top of the 'n' there. Please forgive my bastard Spanish.) All of a sudden, it's all Christmassy everywhere, like a box of tinsel and lights exploded over the city sometime after Thanksgiving. I am scandalously behind in planning all things holiday, including contemplating gifts or even just generally allowing myself to slip into the mood. I did peek in on a Christmas party for the kids in the hospital, amusing myself with wry observations about the too-enthusiastic DJ and the fact that half the kids there were actually orthodox Jews, but I think that's the closest to warm and fuzzy that I've gotten so far this year.

One thing that I love about Chrismas, though, aside from all the family time and Precious Moments and blah blah blah is the movies. All the good movies come out around Christmastime. A partial list of what I want to see this year.

  • The Life Aquatic, with Steve Zissou. Because I love Wes Anderson and I love Bill Murray. A lot. I saw him at the hospital a few weeks ago (he was there for some sort of fundraising thing), and I almost did a teen-girl-at-a-Beatles-concert thing, screaming and tearing at my hair.

  • Closer. Because they're all so pretty. Oh yeah, and the acting or whatever.

  • Vera Drake. Well, I guess this movie has been out for a while. But nothing says Christmas like the story of a kindly abortionist in 1950s London!

Maybe I'll actually be able to stay awake past 8pm next block so that I can actually make it to the movie theater. I'm on Outpatient next, which is good in terms of the hours, but bad in that I'm not really sure that I like clinic time. In fact, I'm fairly sure that I hate clinic. The school forms kill me. At least it's not August anymore, with all my patients starting school. That was paperwork hell.

Now I supposed I should start thinking about what to eat for dinner.

Currently reading: "Salt." This book is making me hungry for cured meats.

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