Saturday, December 18, 2004


I don't know if this is an aftereffect of our trip to Hawaii or what, but all of a sudden, I'm obsessed with pineapple. Could pineapple be the world's most perfect fruit? Consider:

1.) Pineapples taste good. So sweet (usually), so tart, so juicy. Unlike those fruits that only look like they would be dribbling with nectar yet rarely are (hello blueberries, strawberries, raspberries--well actually, all the berries are to blame), the pineapple actually lives up to the promise. I guess that's the old tropical abundance for you.

2.) Rarely do you have to eat a pineapple that's not already prepared for you. Other fruits, you have to peel and slice and whatnot. But most of the time you have pineapple, it's already carved into little spears or chunks for you. When was the last time you had to peel your own pineapple, I ask you? (Shut up, Martha Stewart, no one's asking you. You probably have some sort of special hand-crafter pineapple peeler implement for just such occasions.)

3.) Have you ever had that cottage cheese with the pineapple in it? This is the most perfect treat in the world. And keep in mind that I'm not even that healthy, nor do I as a rule eat cottage cheese. But it is made delectable by the wonders of PINEAPPLE.

4.) Pineapple is one of the few fruits I'm not allergic to. So call me prejudiced.

Last night I was so tired that I went to bed at 8pm. No joke. I wasn't intending to, I was just reading in bed, and the next thing I knew, it was 10:30pm and the book was on my chest. At that point, I just gave up and decided to sleep through the night, but the consequences of that decision were that I woke up at 4:30 this morning, wide awake and raring to go, two eyes blinking in the darkness like in some kind of damn cartoon.

So obviously, I got an early start on my day, and did a goodly amount of Christmas shopping by the end of it, though I'm still not quite done. I also had a nice surprise waiting for me when I got home this evening--my Board scores finally arrived in the mail. Man, that was a long six-to-eight weeks, I barely even remember taking the test. Anyway, I passed. Glory be. Now I just have to file all my licensing paperwork and then I'll be too legit to quit. And to celebrate my shiny new medical legitimacy--free Vicodin prescriptions for everyone! (Kidding, kidding. Don't suspend my licence yet, it hasn't even been printed up yet.)

Currently reading: "Sideways." A pretty engaging read, full of insights about wine tasting that are totally lost on me, since I can't tell the difference between a fine wine and a crap wine, unless the wine is straight vinegar or similarly putrid. This book must have been easily adapted to movie form, it already reads like a screenplay.

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