The problem with some well-intentioned though off-the-mark Christmas gifts is what exactly to do with them once the box has been opened. For example, we just got this in the mail yesterday:
In case it's not absolutely clear what you're looking at there, I'll tell you. It's a hot pink foam cat head wearing sunglasses. The head is mounted on a black wire stand, for our displaying pleasure. And to add that extra dash of functionality, the cat head is constructed around a clothespin (also painted black), that can be squeezed open and shut to give the illusion that the cat is talking. I can't imagine what the pink foam cat head is supposed to be used for, but my best guess is some sort of a note or memo holder. I know. I know.
First of all, I feel bad for even mocking the pink foam cat head in the first place, because it was a gift, and it came from a special place, deep in the heart of a person who maybe thought our desks needed a little extra pizzazz. (Pizzaz? Pizzazzzz? How do you spell that? Oh, screw it, I'm too lazy to look it up.) But then, because it came from these nice people, we can never ever throw it out. Ever. We have to keep it around until the end of time, so that in the off-chance the gifters come over to visit, we can have the foam cat head sitting proudly on some prominent tabletop surface, perhaps with some sort of shopping list clamped in its mouth to show how useful we're finding their present. They gave us the gift because they love us, and because they love us, we can never ever get rid of their gift. Even though it's a HOT PINK FOAM CAT HEAD WEARING SUNGLASSES MOUNTED ON A WIRE STAND WITH A CLOTHESPIN COMING OUT OF THE BACK.
I liked it better last year, when they enrolled us in that fruit-of-the-month club instead.
Currently reading: Was going to start "Sideways," but then I just got a present from Coleen in the mail off my Amazon.com wishlist, the book "My Sister's Keeper," which was actually recommended by one of you guys. (I'm sorry, I can't remember who--remind me, so I can give you credit.) Yay! So I'm going to read "My Sister's Keeper" first, because it's a present, and vaguely medical, which as you know is one of my guilty leisure reading pleasures, despite my job and all that.
This Amazon.com wishlist thing is something kind of new for me, so at first I was all shocked and couldn't figure out how Coleen knew that I wanted to read this book in the firstplace. But duh, I made a wishlist, and duh, even though I never told her about it, you find people's wishlists by searching on their names. Welcome to the nineties, Dr. Au. Anyway, then I tried to search on my name to find my own wishlist, just to see if it would work, and I discovered that there's another Michelle Au with a wishlist on Amazon.com, only she lives in College Park, Maryland. Who is this other Michelle Au? I must find her and destroy her.