the underwear drawer

conan

I didn't mean to imply in my last entry that Cal's arrival was imminent or anything. I mean it is, kinda, but I still technically have 4 weeks to go. However, you know that kids born after 37 weeks are considered full-term, and since I'm 37 weeks next week, I figured it was time to get all my (adorable tiny terry-cloth pastel) ducks in a row. Anyway, I don't think I'll feel much like assembling baby crap when I'm back to working those 13-hour days next week.

But ANYWAY, in non-baby news, I didn't mention that I went to go see a taping of Late Night with Conan O'Brien last Friday. Because sometimes I like to pretend that I'm a tourist, even though I live here. The last time I had gone to see a Conan taping was something like five years ago, the summer after my first year of college. I had something of a crush on Conan at that time. Nowadays I think he's gotten a little bitter and self-hating, and ever since Andy Richter jumped ship I think the show has gotten significantly less funny, and I haven't really watched it with any regularity. Well, also, I don't stay up that late anymore. Because I AM OLD.

So anyway, Conan. Ray and Susan (our pregnant couple friends) scored four tickets and offered the other pair of them to Joe and me. Joe couldn't make it because of work (we had to be at NBC studios by 3pm for the taping), but since I am shiftless and on vacation, I was game for anything. A funny thing I noticed about the audience for Conan (besides the fact that everyone was a tourist, which I inferred from the fact that they were all wearing the requisite shorts-and-T-shirt-with-camera-bag uniform) is that the mean age of the audience members was extremely low. Our group was probably slightly older than the mean, which is saying something because most of us are dancing around our 30th birthdays. This audience was straight up college students with the occasional parent or older-person-who-couldn't-get-into-Letterman thrown into the mix. I wonder what the audience of The Daily Show is like? Probably largely the same. Speaking of which, that's a show that I'd love to get tickets to see. I heart that Jon Stewart.

I don't think the show we went to see was particularly strong. The "big name" guest was Al Franken, which...I mean, I know who Al Franken is, but it's kind of a cop-out, like when they can't find anyone else to guest on the show, so they walk over to the SNL set next door and drag Rachel Dratch or someone over to talk funny for ten minutes. The second string guest was this kid from that new documentary "Mad Hot Ballroom," which I've heard is a good movie, but people...do not put some annoying 10-year old boy in front of four cameras with a microphone, because he will start behaving like an annoying 10-year old boy. Guh, precocious showbiz kids. Hate. Finally, wrapping up the show, the musical guest was the band "Fountains of Wayne," which I impressed everyone in my party by correctly identifying them as the group that sings that "Stacy's Mom" song. I'm hip to the jive, man. But they didn't perform "Stacy's Mom," instead they insisted on performing a NEW song off their NEW album which no one knew, and we were all being geriatric and squinting at the strobe lights and smoke machine and Mylar and mumbling to each other about how LOUD the band was and what the hell was with the bass player and his gigantic white Mary-Kate Olsen sunglasses, he looked like a freaking BUG.

So maybe we were too old for the audience.

I don't think Conan was particularly pleased with the show either. He probably knew Al Franken from his SNL days so that went OK, but you could tell he kind of wanted to kill that "Mad Hot Ballroom" kid. I don't know what's worse, having to interview a sassy kid or having the show where the guy from the zoo brings in all the animals to crawl all over the stage. I personally would prefer the zoo guy and his animals, because the animals aren't trying to impress their friends at school the next morning. (Or maybe they are, I don't know. Maybe the giant python is sitting under his light bulb the next day like, "Dude, did you see me on Conan last night? I was awesome!")

The pace of the show was all hectic too. Every time they cut to commercial, a horde of writers rushed up to Conan's desk and they all started conversing furiously while writing and crossing out various things on their ubiquitous little blue notecards. I can't imagine how that must be, to have to be re-writing the show on the fly like that. I can' barely tolerate not knowing my call schedule three months in advance. Not destined for the bright lights, I guess. Conan also looked a lot skinnier than I remembered, which is really not saying very much, because the last time I saw him in person was nine years ago and he was just starting to become very successful, and maybe he had one too many foie gras sandwiches and not enough laps in his Scrooge McDuck money pit.

So that was my non-baby-related update. However, tune in tomorrow for reports from my 36 week ultrasound and doctor's visit, and the latest belly shot. And apologies to anyone who's just sick of reading about pregnancy and babies and is just dying for me to squeeze out the piglet so I can STOP TALKING ABOUT IT ALREADY. People, I know how you feel. I can't wait to stop talking about pregnancy too. Because after nine months, I'm SO OVER this.

Currently reading: My e-mail, scouring it for information on where exactly I have to be on Friday to start the new residency and what time I have to be there. So far, no information is forthcoming. Next I'm going to look through my old snail mail correspondence for a clue. Or maybe it's a secret. [Addendum: I figured it out. 8am on Friday morning. Ooh, we get to sleep in for the first day!]