the underwear drawer

still nerdy after all these years

In honor of the reunion last night, I present to you my high school "school song," which for some reason I remember in its entirety. I know I can't present the melody, but rest assured that it has something of a droning quality about it, and isn't really peppy or invigorating at all (which I guess is only what can be expected for a school with no decent sport teams).

Sing to our school, forever may she stand,
Forever sheltering those who loved and served her well.
Strive for her fame, with firm and willing hand,
Let all Hunter ring as we sing alma MAAAAA-ter.
Now sing her name loud and clear,
Now sing her name loud and clear,
Now sing her NAAAAAME...loud and clear.
SIIIIIING...HUUUUUUUN...TEEEEEER!

(There's a second verse too, but I'll spare you that particular torment.)

So, ten years later, at the reunion honoring our high school days, have we proven to "strive for her fame with firm and willing hand?" Unclear. All I know is that there were a whole messload of people in varying stages of completing training in medicine, business and law. First runners up were people with careers in writing or the graphic arts. Second runners up were those who went around saying, "Oh my god, I was so embarrassed to come to this reunion because I'm not doing anything in medicine, business, law, writing, or graphic arts."

I know I said before that everyone from my high school looks basically the same as the day they graduated, but I was wrong. I was just thinking about my particular cohort of friends. The rest of them have changed so drastically that upon arriving at The Lemon Bar, I thought I was at the wrong event and was in the process of looking for another room where the real reunion was being held, because WHO THE HELL WERE THESE PEOPLE? But then people started saying hi to me and I started noticing that everyone was wearing those "Hello, my name is..." nametags (thankfully, to minimize those embarrassing contretemps) so I realized that indeed, I was at the right place after all. Some people--mostly the girls--looked exactly the same as the day we graduated from high school. But exactly. However, those people that looked different--perhaps due to varying delays of maturation between the sexes, many of the guys--looked completely, unrecognizably different. Weight and hair follicle density flux reigned supreme.

I did have a good time, rehashing various minutiae from our salad days with various close and peripheral acquaintances, but I'm sure Joe was bored out of his skull. He was being a very good sport about it, gamely chatting with other spouses and fetching me glass after glass of water from the bar, but when 11pm rolled around and I asked him if he wanted to go home, he said, "I'm ready whenever you're ready" which is his nice way of saying, "Holy crap, I don't know any of these people and I couldn't care less what happened during that one AP Bio dissection lab where Buddy offered to eat a piece of the the cow heart for $50, now GET ME THE HELL OUT OF THIS SWEAT-REEKING STINK HOLE." So we went home. Fun stuff, though. And I've never had my belly rubbed so many times in such a short period. Cal was like, "What the hell is going on out there? And why is the DJ playing 'Hip Hop Hooray' by Naughty by Nature? You guys are a bunch of fucking fossils."

Currently purchasing: Some more scented candles. (I prefer "Mountainview" myself.) The whole apartment smells like dog.