Sunday, June 05, 2005


There's a street fair down Second Avenue today, and enticed by the smell of grilling street food, I ran on down to pick up some Italian sausage for lunch. For the uninitiated, Italian sausage is this big old mess of...well, sausage...smothered with an even bigger mess of grilled onions and peppers, served on a huge flaky Italian roll. They sell it off these gigantic white carts with painted signs and rows of flashing multicolored lights, and the grilling smell that catches you when you walk by DEMANDS that you eat Italian sausage IMMEDIATELY.

I came back up the the apartment with my bounty and, drooling canine at my elbow, started eating. The problem is that Italian sausage is very hard to eat neatly. For one, there's the actual size of the sausage-roll complex--very difficult to cram in one's mouth--as well as the unwieldiness of the slopped on onion and peppers to contend with. So it should come as no surprise that, five minutes into lunch, a giant tangle of grilled onions landed right in my lap. On my white! linen! skirt! Nice one.

I managed to get the stain out with some hydrogen peroxide and a little scrubbing, but I knew that unless I girded myself with a full length rubber apron, the same thing was bound to happen again. And it's really a nice skirt when it's clean--in fact, one that I was planning to wear to a barbecue later this evening. I didn't want it to be ruined forever just because I had a hankering for grilled street meats.

So what did I do? Did I change into shorts? Did I cover my skirt with napkins to prevent further culinary mishaps? Did I start eating my Italian sausage with a fork and knife?

No. In the end, I just took off the skirt and finished eating lunch in my underwear.

Later, my baby daddy and I plan to head on over to the county dump to shoot at some cans, and maybe trap a squirrel or two for dinner. Yeeeee-haw!

Currently reading: "Basics of Anesthesia," aka "Baby Miller." (Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe it's called "Baby Miller" because Miller wrote a much larger, scarier two-volume textbook, of which the "Baby Miller" is basically the stripped-down Cliff Notes version.)

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