Monday, July 04, 2005

coke and a movie

Have you guys seen the "Coca Cola Zero" cans that are popping up everywhere? Apparently, it's a calorie-free version of Coke. Another one, I mean. What, Diet Coke wasn't enough? I tried to search for some information regarding this so-called "Coca Cola Zero," and from what I can determine, it is supposed to co-exist in harmony with Diet Coke because it's marketed to have a "unique taste" distinct from that of its other no-cal counterpart. At least the Coca Cola execs learned from the mistakes of that "New Coke" debacle and didn't replace Diet Coke entirely. But still, do we need two no-calorie Cokes on the market?

My real guess as to why Coca Cola Zero exists is that it is marketed for guys who feel like ordering a Diet Coke is sissy. This is a non-issue in New York City--the lines between sissy and manly here are artfully blurred, and everyone drinks Diet Coke--but maybe elsewhere in the country, Diet Coke is only for girls. That was the whole rationale behind the introduction of Pepsi One, wasn't it? The ones with the manly commercials of Cuba Gooding Jr. screaming and jumping up on top of tables? I'm just waiting for the Coca Cola Zero marketing campaign to get under full swing so I can see if I'm right or not. If the ads look like beer commercials, then I win.

* * *

Joe and I went to see "War of the Worlds" last night. Insert obligatory Tom Cruise joke here if you must, but just because the guy is a lunatic doesn't make me not want to see his big old Steven Spielberg summer blockbuster movie. It was OK. There were some parts that were very exciting and scary, and some parts that were clear 9/11 references that made me kind of squirmy (showing a wall of posters of the missing and the lost, for example). And then there were some parts that didn't make much sense at all. I guess technically you can not read this next part if you want to avoid being surprised by the movie, but--come on, everyone knows the story already, right? I mean, it was a book and all.

  • OK, I have to admit that even though I hate precocious showbiz kids, Dakota Fanning is a reasonable actress. She's very natural to watch up on screen. It's just those interviews and press appearances that I can't stand to see, because no kid should ever act and talk the way she does, like a tiny little industry adult. Blech.
  • I mean, the obvious point that everyone is going to make about this movie is that the aliens are clearly idiots. What, invest all that time and money into your invasion and don't even think about the fact that the Earth might provide a hostile environment for you, albeit on a microscopic scale? Also, considering that you BEAMED IN FROM OUTER SPACE on a BOLT OF LIGHTNING, can't you think of a better strategy for exterminating the human race than just running around and SHOOTING everyone with ray guns? Also, how come they're vaporizing the humans one minute, and then painstakingly collecting them one-by-one the next minute to liquidate them into fertilizer? If we're so important for fertilization purposes, maybe they shouldn't be vaporizing us left and right, huh?
  • Tom Cruise is super-intense. When is he ever not intense? Even if he was in, like, a fluffy irreverent Farrelly brothers movie, he'd be, like, INTENSELY fluffy and irreverent.
  • Did you know that Morgan Freeman narrates this movie? He's like the new James Earl Jones, with the ubiquitous voice-overs.
  • What the hell is this movie "Stealth"? From what I can tell, it's about a "smart" warplane that turns...EVIL. I'm guessing Jamie Foxx signed on for this one before the success of "Ray". I'm also guessing that I'm not going to see "Stealth."

Currently reading: All Anesthesia, all the time, baby. Man, I haven't studies like this since med school. I'm even back to making my old nerd study charts, which is all too scary and familiar.

(Oh yeah, and Happy Fourth of July. Don't go blowing your hands off now, you hear? Your local ER staff surely would not appreciate it.)

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