the underwear drawer

born free

Yesterday in the PACU, one of my co-residents (whose name name may or may not be Adam) came up to me with his cell phone in hand.


ADAM
Hey, I have a picture for your to put up on your website.

MICHELLE
What, not more naked ladies?

ADAM
No, it's a picture of my med cart this morning.
(Shows phone-cam picture of the inner shelf of an anesthesia med cart with a brownish blob in the corner)

MICHELLE
What is that?

ADAM
Guess.

MICHELLE
I don't know, some brownish oval-looking thing.
(Realizing)
Wait a second...is that...is that a roach?

ADAM
Yup.

MICHELLE
There was a roach in your med cart?
(Soundless gagging)

ADAM
Third drawer. I'm going to show this to JCAHO.

[Special note to hospital administration: not really.]

MICHELLE
And it's one of those big ones too! Guh! What would a roach be doing in the med cart? There's not even any food in there. What would it eat?

ADAM
The propofol?

MICHELLE
What, the soy emulsion? Maybe if they were vegan roaches.

OTHER RESIDENT
Did you kill it?

ADAM
No, I stuck a Tegaderm on it.

MICHELLE
You stuck a...
(Mouth moves, but no more words come out)


(Later, passing in the hallway between cases)


MICHELLE
Hey Adam, how's your pet roach? I think you should call him "Spanky."

ADAM
He escaped.

MICHELLE
Out from under the Tegaderm?

ADAM
He's loose in the med cart.

MICHELLE
Wait, what room is this? Actually, don't tell me, I'd rather be surprised.


Currently thinking: Antibiotics are the greatest.