Sunday, December 10, 2006

i can see clearly now

I have not yet mentioned the valuable lesson we learned last weekend. Apparently, when you take both stems of a pair of glasses and pull them in opposite directions, like a wishbone, the glasses will break. So yes, somebody broke my glasses last weekend. I'm not naming any names.

(OK, it was Cal.)

It wasn't the biggest tragedy in the world, as I've had these glasses for about five years now and was thinking about getting the frames replaced anyway. They were getting pretty scratched up and bent out of shape, wishbone-pulling nonwithstanding, and all the veneer was chipping and flaking off, making it look like I have dandruff when I DON'T HAVE DANDRUFF. (Usually.) So after Cal broke my glasses and then put gum in my hair and took my lunch money, I put on my old pair of emergency glasses and headed out to ye olde optician.

My first stop was the Lenscrafters down near the Flatiron Building, because I figured they had the biggest selection of frames. However, Lenscrafters was inexplicably CLOSED at 4:00pm on a Saturday afternoon, probably because THEY HATE MONEY. So instead I went to this Pearle Vision location right nearby that I had never noticed up until this day. It was a smaller store, but it there were still enough glasses there that didn't look like this...

...such that I could browse around and find a couple of frames that I liked.

Are you thinking about getting new glasses? Let me impart some wisdom. If you, like me, are BLIND, don't be an idiot like me and wear your old glasses into the store. If you have contact lenses, WEAR THE DAMN CONTACT LENSES. Because this was me:

  1. Look at frames.
  2. Take off own glasses to try on sample frames.
  3. Look in mirror unable to see anything because there are no prescription lenses in the frames.
  4. Get really, really close to the mirror to try to make out my own image.
  5. Take off sample frames.
  6. Put on own glasses so that I can see where to put the frames back without knocking the whole display over.
  7. Pick another set of frames to try on.
  8. Take off own glasses.
  9. Cannot find mirror due to BLINDNESS.

(This is known as "lack of foresight." Also known in some circles as "stupidity.")

However, everything worked out well in the end, and I got my new glasses. You will notice that they look remarkably like my old glasses. That is because I am secretly an old lady and abhor change of any kind.

* * *

So in the end, we decided to get a potted Christmas tree. I would like to say this is due to some sort of tree-hugging eco-love-fest inclination on our part, but the real reason is that Home Depot sold out of artificial trees.

As you can see, it's not exactly a miniature tree, but it's not huge either. It's like My Size Barbie. It does not appear to have much of a nice piney smell either, but at least it's pleasing in its alive-ness and reasonably bottom-heavy and does not require all that tiresome base-screwing that a cut tree would. We'll probably try and decorate it tonight, if ESPN isn't showing that danged Ohio State-Michigan game AGAIN. Joe has watched that game a total of three times so far, and if it replays again, I assure you there will be nothing stopping him from watching it a fourth time.

Currently reading: "George Sprott," Seth's latest offering.