the underwear drawer

secure in his manhood

So there's this attending on the OB anesthesia service who has gotten everyone into doing beadwork.  Well, perhaps "everyone" is overstating things somewhat.  She has gotten all the women on the labor and delivery floor into doing beadwork, I guess as sort of a stress-reduction thing.  There's this big box under the counter in the OB Anesthesia workroom with twine, fasteners, and styrofoam cups filled with all these different kinds of beads, and during random moments during the day or night, whenever there is some down time, you will find someone rustling through that box to go through the supplies.  As a result, almost every OB resident and all of the nurses have these beaded ID holders around their necks, and you can tell which of the (female) anesthesia residents has recently been through OB by whether or not they are sporting the same.  It's like the Anesthesia version of a Boy Scout merit badge.  (Curiously has not caught on among the actual boys in our department, however.)

This last month was my third rotation on OB in as many years, and up until last week, I had not jumped on the bead bandwagon.  Firstly, I never really had time to get all Martha (there was always this pressing guilt that every single second on OB not spent in the throes of patient care should be spent studying for this oral exam we all have at the end of each four week OB rotation), and secondly, there was this feeling in my gut that making a beaded ID holder was just a touch too girly for me. And I am not so girly. No sir, this plain polyester corded ID holder from the security office does just fine by me, thanks.

And then last week, my attending (the bead one) mentioned that she had just gotten a new shipment for the craft box. "They're crystals!" she said, shaking the little plastic baggies in front of my face, like they were cocaine or some such thing. And when I saw those multifaceted beads, I knew that the era of restraint was over. Like a bird, I am apparently unable to resist anything sparkly.




So I caved and I made a beaded ID holder. And it is possibly the girliest thing I have ever touched. Not only is it sparkly, it is rainbow. And based on how many nurses squealed that their daughters would love a necklace just like it, I apparently have the design aesthetic of a second grader.

The idea of using my bead thing as an actual ID holder was quickly ruled out when I realized just how many things I carried around on my current ID holder. Aside from my hospital badge, I currently have looped on my neck cord two pens, a Sharpie, a plastic holder stuffed with singles, a ring with five or six keys, and a calculator. It's like Revenge of the Nerds, Medical Edition. And I didn't think that one thin loop of twine could sufficiently support that mass of hardware. So instead, I brought my creation home, and gave them to possibly the only other person who could appreciate it as much as I did.




In the words of Cal, who held out his hands almost reverently when I presented him with his newest accessory, "Mama, it's so beautiful!" I figure he might as well wear it now, before he starts school and some preschool thug inevitably gives him the idea that wearing a rainbow-beaded sparkle necklace is not something that boys are supposed to do.