the underwear drawer

specs

Did you know they make special-fitting glasses for Asian people? It's true. Something about the flatter nose bridge and smaller faces of my rice-eating brethren makes it that standard eyeglasses that fit well can be hard to find, which is rather inconvenient, as I don't know any Asian people who don't wear glasses.

I always thought it was just me that needed to try on five thousand pairs of glasses before I found ones that wouldn't just slide off my face (in my youth, I first wore pink plastic frames with highly unfortunate mother of pearl "accents" that would stay on purely by virtue of the fact that they were so big that they would rest on my cheekbones--I subsequently moved onto wire-frames with the wire/silicone pad nose gripper things, which fit much better, but which I try to eschew now because they make me look like Sun Yat Sen and I want to be FASHIONABLE) but now I know that I can just blame it on anthropology. Still, since "Asian fit" glasses are not widely available (Oakley makes a line of "Asian fit" sunglasses, and of course they have tons of cool eyewear in Japan, but that's this whole other country and most of it isn't available here) I still have a hell of a hard time every time I need to switch my frames.

So. I need new glasses. First off, the old pair are broke-ass. This is largely my fault. First of all, I sleep in my glasses, because how else is the obsessive-compulsive fitful myopic sleeper supposed to know what time it is each and every time she wakes up in the middle of the night? (Yes, Lasik, I know.) Secondly, my lenses are all scratched up (particularly the left, my lookin' eye) because I use the fiberoptic scope a lot at work, and a metal eyepiece on plastic lenses is not a good flavor combination. I was talking to a pathologist the other day, and asked him how he managed to protect his glasses when he was looking through a microscope all day long, and he paused about one second too long before telling me that he takes off his glasses before looking in the scope, dumbass. (That last bit was implied, not explicit.)

Yes, so anyway, frames abused, lenses scratched. Lastly, my prescription has gotten worse. I figured this out because I was driving one day and I could not read the road signs until I was right up under them. "Why do they print those signs so blurry?" I wondered. Then I realized that despite being related to two ophthalmologists (my mom and Joe--well, actually, three, my uncle is an ophthalmologist too) I have not had my eyes checked for something like five or six years.





So anyway, I got new glasses. They are coming in the mail. They are exactly the same as my old glasses, only better, because they will not be broke-ass and I will be able to see out of them. The end.