MACK
(Speaking very, very close, directly into MICHELLE's face)
Mom, want to get up. Want yogurt and toast. Get breakfast.
MICHELLE
Hmm? Snrg? Mrpgh? (Shakes self awake)
Mack, Mom is sleeping. She worked very late last night.
Hmm? Snrg? Mrpgh? (Shakes self awake)
Mack, Mom is sleeping. She worked very late last night.
Go see if Dad will help you get breakfast.
MACK
No, you. Want you to get me breakfast.
MICHELLE
Dad can do it.
MACK
No, want Mama. Need you. You. YOU.
MICHELLE
OK, just give me a second...
(Long pause)
(Snoring)
MACK
Mom, get these blankets off! Off! Off! (Pushing blankets off my body.)
Don't cover your legs! Don't cover foot! Get up!
MICHELLE
Mack, Mommy's tired.
MACK
(Insistent)
NO NO NO YOU NOT TIRED.
MICHELLE
Groan. Fine. Fine. I'm up. I'm... (struggling into sitting position) OK, now I'm up.
Don't you know Mommy was working late last night? That Mommy needs to rest, like, occasionally?
Fine, now what do you want for breakfast? Toast? Yogurt?
MACK
Yes. Also need you change my diaper.
MICHELLE
You're pushing it, kid.
(Fin.)
I am not an expert on children, but when they can request a diaper change is it time to potty train?
ReplyDeleteI'm not a pediatrician anymore so, you know, what the hell do I know, but I'll just point out that the process of toilet training is a continuum. And probably a good number of two year-old boys are one one end of that continuum, particularly when it comes to overnight.
ReplyDeleteWhile no doubt there also exists a gifted subset of two year-old boys who no doubt can poo delicate flower-like sculptures on command and pee like the precision fountains at Bellagio with the power of their superb sphincter control, my own kids have so far not proven to excel in this particular arena. :)
Michelle, I absolutely love the Mom-Cal dialogue entries you have on your blog. This is great! Mack should be featured more often! :)
ReplyDeleteAgreed with Anon #2, as crazy as the days are now, they won't be around forever :) When they're teens, you'll be begging for the tiniest bit of acknowledgment from them!
ReplyDeleteAnon at 3:51...they are asking for it AFTER the fact.
ReplyDeleteAnon #1, ha ha ha ha ha...thanks for the good laugh. Just because they inform you of the need for a change does NOT mean that they are in any way interested in becoming involved in the process themselves (mother of 2, speaking from experience here)
ReplyDeleteI'm an Emergency Medicine resident and this reminds me of a conversation I had with my 3 year old last year (intern year!). Some of our bonding at that time seemed to involve midnight visits to say hi and be put back in bed
ReplyDeleteDaughter (waking me up in middle of night for not first time that night): I'm sad, put me back in my bed
Me: Babe, you have to stop I need to sleep sometimes...
Daughter: You can sleep
Me: Not when you keep waking me up
Daughter: You can sleep if I don't need you.
This sounds like our house today---post call day. thank you for sharing. two year olds are very smart. if a parent has the time (most medical spouses or doctors don't) to potty train good for them. my two year old is still wearing a diaper and i'm not stressing one bit about it. props to you for being a great mommy and doctor!
ReplyDeletei second the other comments above, these dialogues are hilarious! Sorry you're not getting more rest on your days off though :(
ReplyDeleteThanks for a good laugh. :)
ReplyDeleteSorry it was at the expense of your sleep. Hope you can catch up some time soon!
ReplyDeleteKids are so cute when they belong to someone else.
ReplyDelete~snerk~ See, Mothers In Medicine cover so much stuff... but I don't think anybody's covered "how to survive call when your toddler refuses to let you sleep" yet.
ReplyDeleteYes! More Mack! "Don't cover legs!" made me laugh out loud.
ReplyDeleteAlso, way to nice tell anon #1 to suck it.
My conversation with my 3 year-old.
ReplyDeleteDAD: Who loves you?
SON: Mommy
DAD: Who else?
SON: Mommy
DAD: Right. But I love you too.
[Pause]
SON: I love Mommy.
That's hilarious! You have a gift for dialogue. Either that or Mack is just really funny.
ReplyDeleteMy son is a toddler and he cracks me up every single day. Mack is hilarious. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDelete