In a stunning coup which combined skillfully applied discharge strategy and limited intake volume due to the upcoming holiday weekend, the team and I somehow managed to whittle down the cardiology service to three patients for a few hours this afternoon. Then we got a PICU transfer, but still, four patients. This likes of this the hospital has never seen! (And never will see again after the weekend and the surgery and cath service start picking up again.)
So I've been working on planning our class retreat. The chiefs have arranged for all of the interns to have the first weekend of may off so that we can go off to the woods to bond and shit. We decided to rent a house in the Hamptons for our love-in. We will grill burgers and drink Costco boozes and lounge in the hot tub. It'll be like "The Real World: Pediatricians." Wow, that would be the most boring show ever.
PEDS RESIDENT #1
You're a racist! And a homophobe! I hate you! Also, I'm an alcoholic nudist and I have Daddy issues!
PEDS RESIDENT #2
Turn that frown upside down! Let's hug and then put sparkly stickers on our ID badges!
PEDS RESIDENT #1
I don't know how I ended up in the position of coordinating our retreat, it just kind of happened. But it's really stressful. I hate being resposible for other people's money. Even more, I hate fronting money (as for the rent and down payment) out of my own pocket and then chasing after people to be paid back. It makes me feel like someone's landlord. Or a loan shark. And then what if this rental is a con? What if we show up and it was all a scam and I just lost $2400 of everyone's money? What if it sucks? What if we don't have fun? What if I didn't mail in the lease in time and we don't get the place after all?
I used to be in charge of a lot of things when I was in high school and college. I used to kind of like being in charge. I liked making the decision and driving projects. Now I'm just sort of content to ride along and not take on any more responsibility than my regular job entails. Isn't being an intern enough?
Argh, now I just called the Hamptons Guy to try and confirm that he got our lease, and his cell phone is off. He did mention that he was leaving for Florida on Thursday. Florida. Who leaves for Florida in a big rush? This makes me think:
a.) Total scam artist. Cashing my check and absconding to the South under an assumed name and a glue-on beard.
b.) Didn't get the lease before leaving for vacation. The house will be rented to someone else, our retreat will be ruined, and everyone's going to hate me.
c.) There may be an off chance that it's actually a legitimate operation and he'll call me back soon telling me how to get to the house and where I can pick up the keys.
So the good news is, he didn't cash my check yet. And the bad news is, he didn't cash my check yet. Shit. $2400. Remind me never to volunteer for anything every again.
Currently reading: My Citibank account balance.