Now that I'm finished with my month in the PICU, I'm on two weeks of elective, and as such, I'm electing to not do much of anything. That said, I already know that as sick call resident, I'm getting pulled to cover the cardiology and NICU services two days next week, and of course there's that little matter of Step 3 of the Boards to attend to. But I still have a whole week to study for that. A whole week to study and realize that I'm stupid and get panicky and perhaps impulsively defer my Boards date for a later date. I hope not, though.
When I got home from call this morning, I saw a stack of photos on my desk, taken at my cousin's wedding last month. I guess my dad finally got around to sending them to us. Looking at the photos, I was reminded of one thing. I mean, aside from the fact that the wedding was beautiful and all that. I realized that I don't know how to smile with teeth.
Look at everyone else with their toothy photo-smiles. And then look at me. I can't do it. I don't know how. The only photos of me with teeth are ones taken while I'm actually laughing or talking to someone. But smiling with teeth without an inciting stimulus, I cannot do. Neither, apparently, can my dad, which only further substatiates the theory that WE ARE CLONES.
Look at me in these photos. I barely even look happy. It's like I'm trying to pull my face into the rictus of a smile, but all I can accomplish really is stretching out my cheeks and adopting a generally benign, pleasant expression. But how does one smile naturally for the camera? I just don't know. I've tried (embarrassingly) practicing in front of the mirror, and all I do is scare myself. The closest I can manage is the look of a scary clown, with a toothy not-quite-right mouth and non-smiling eyes. I don't think I could have been a cheerleader. I mean, due to the inability to smile spontaneously and the general lack of athleticism.
I read a review for "Friday Night Lights," and I guess it looks more interesting than I had assumed at first glance. I thought it was going to be like "Miracle," except without Aerosmith on the soundtrack. So maybe we'll grab some Indian food and catch a late show tonight. At least it's better than "Ladder 49" or some such drivel.
Currently reading: OK, I have to admit that I put "The Fortress of Solitude" on hold for now, but mainly because it's a paperback and therefore appropriate for airplane reading. No, I did not give up, shut up. So I'm currently working through "The Rule of Four," which is both on loan from my dad, and in hardcover.
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